| Daddy Diary: What is in a name? |
[Sep. 5th, 2007|08:04 pm] |
What is in a name? Danni started talking awhile back. Chelsea has the exact date written down in her planner (along with every other milestone). I don't keep good track of those things but that is why Chelsea and I are perfect for each other. Anyways, her first word was DADADADA but DADADADA was anything she happened to be looking at. Eventually she got it right and said DADA when she looked at me. She also got good BYEBYE. She would wave all prissy like. She would wave you away with a flick of her wrist.
Next came the other words. There was Duck Duck, Kitty Kat, Peppa (which is her grandparents dog) and finally Tiger (came out Tigger but close enough). This was still during the time that Chelsea was nursing (she did it for a little over a year, have I told ya'll that she is my hero) and we called her breasts, Ba-Bas.
Chelsea was a little upset because Danni could name me and a bunch of animals. So she said out to teach Danni how to say Mama. Well one time she was sitting there trying to get Danni to say it and kept pointed at herself and saying Mama. When Danni pointed at Chelsea and said very clearly "BABA!" Chelsea was not mama but boobs.
I took Danni to Target so Chelsea could prep for her scrapbooking class that she teaches (Want to take one of her classes just go to http://www.eclecticamemphis.com/ for a list of classes.) So we went into Target to shop and I said one word the whole time. MAMA! over and over and over for about an hour. I probably looked and sounded pretty funny. I know the cashier thought I was crazy because when I checked out all I would say is "Mama". But it paid off when we got home, I said Mama and Danni looked at Chelsea and said Mama! |
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| Danni Walks |
[Aug. 8th, 2007|07:27 pm] |
Let me apologize ahead of time because this blog is more a video blog than anything else. But most of the videos are shorter than 10 seconds so they won't take a lot of your time.
Danni's birthday was last Saturday. She got quite a haul of toys and is quite spoiled. I am as guilty of it too. My mom (her Mee-Maw) got her a lion walker. When we got home we opened it up (along with all of her toys) and let her play with it. She was a little scared of it but she got the hang out it. Watch the video.
Danni walks with a little help from a friend.
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Well fast forward one week later. Now Danni has been playing with all her toys. She got a baby Grand Piano toy from her Mee-Mee (sp?) and Big Danni, the walker thing from her Mee-Maw, and kitchen set from Chelsea and me. All of these have been helping stand up and cruise. Also all week Danni has been teasing Chelsea and I about actually walking. Shimming here and shimming there. We were over at Mee-Maw and Gramps house visiting. When Danni stood up and started walking towards Chelsea. We all started clapping and my daughter is a ham for attention so she kept doing what she was doing which was WALKING!!!
It was amazing; she shuffled left then straightened up and went forward. Then she leaned back swayed and kept going forward. She fell a couple of times but popped right back up and did it again. Wouldn't you know Chelsea has been standing by with the camera all week and we didn't have it at their house. So then we went over to Mee Mee's and Big Danny's and showed her off. Finally I got her home and got her on video. The two videos are below. I am so proud of her.
Danni Walks!!!! FOR REAL
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Danni Walks Prt 2 FOR REAL
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Now I just have to teach her how to walk from the kitchen to the couch and bring Daddy a beer and I'll be set.
PS the stains on her shirt and diaper are spaghetti not the other thing. Want to see what she looks like during eating spaghetti just look at the profile pic. |
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| My Hero prt 2 |
[Aug. 8th, 2007|07:27 pm] |
So this is the follow up to My Hero. It has taken me over 11 months to write. The reason is that it's hard for me to type it up because when I think about it I get really mad. Well if you remember Chelsea had been given CERVADIL. This was given to her to soften her cervix. It also sent her on a roller coaster of pain. I slept thru most of it on the ground. I don't fit well in recliners. So I laid down on the ground, somewhere in the middle of the night a nurse tripped over me. The nurse brought me a cot and that's what I slept on.
Also in the middle of the night they put POTASIN in because Chelsea had gone into such strong contractions that her body spit out the CERVADIL. This is a very rare and painful thing but Chelsea is a solider and still never asked for her epidural. Well the morning came and went. A nurse would come in ever so often and check her out and tell us that the baby wasn't ready. Well around noon Chelsea's Grandma showed up, Nana. When Nana showed up I headed to the cafeteria to eat. I think I got some spaghetti and brought it back to the room. In retrospect I should have eaten in the cafeteria but I was afraid that I miss the birth with my luck. So I come back to the room and Chelsea is in full labor. She is screaming. I remember walking down the hall and thinking to myself, "That sounds like Chelsea but no way is that her." Well it was.
Whatever they had given her had kicked in. So I sat in the corner and devoured my meal. I then made sure that I threw outside by the nurse's station. The reason for that Chelsea had heightened senses (later found out not bc of the pregnancy).
Okay here's the deal. It has taken me over a year to write this and I still can't seem to make it funny or tragic or anything. Everytime I write it I get angry, delete the whole thing and start over. So here is the highlights.
- I got back from the cafeteria and Chelsea was in full labor. Her Nana (sp?) was rubbing her back. So I drank some Listerine and tried to take over. I was then yelled (understandably so with what was going on) by Chelsea "That YOU ARE NOT DOING IT LIKE NANA!!!" So I gave up and let Nana take back over.
- The doctor came in to break Chelsea's water. Well we were in a learning hospital (think Scrubs or Grey's Anatomy). The doctor asked if the intern could pop the amebonic (sp?) sac. Chelsea said sure go for it. Well he missed and scraped something that he wasn't supposed to. Chelsea screamed the doctor took over and did it sort of. Not really sure what happened.
- Somewhere along the day Chelsea started screaming bloody murder. They told her it was too soon for the epidural and the nurse was trying to calm her down. She had to climb and straddle Chelsea to get in her face. Penny (I think that is what the nurse's name was) told her she was scaring the other patients.
- The finally gave Chelsea her epidural and she was completely relaxed. Well Danni was having none of that and started moving around. That meant the nurses had to come in every 2 minutes and reposition the fetal monitor. Well guess what? That ripped out the epidural. We didn't know that til Chelsea prepped for surgery. Although Chelsea kept telling them it had fallen out.
- Right before Chelsea was to prepped for surgery there were 3 doctors standing in a line trying to figure out what to do with Chelsea. Chelsea was in so much pain and so tired she would push and then fall asleep between contractions. Well doctor 1 (the youngest) wanted to take her and have an emergency C-section, doc 2 wanted to wait it out, and doc 3 wanted to use suction. The problem was Chelsea had a little piece of her cervix that wouldn't move over.
- Well the finally came to a decision after 27 hours of labor and majority of that me holding a desk fan to try and keep Chelsea cool (I know I know I am the true hero of this story). They decided to take Chelsea in for C-Section. On the way out Chelsea looked at me with tears in her eyes and said "Pray for me." This sent me into a tailspin. Chelsea and I are both Catholic but we aren't that religious. I mean I say my prayers at night and we go to church occasionally but not very often do we discuss prayer. It shook to my core. I cried and cried and prayed. Everything came out great but that moment scared me.
- So I was sitting in the waiting room with my family and in walks a doctor and asks if any of us are looking a little girl with the last name of Jones. I wasn't thinking bc to me Danni and Chelsea are Rogers even though we weren't married. I finally realized that it was my daughter they were talking about so I sprung up and said "Is it a girl?" The doctor said "Yes". Later on we found out that Chelsea had woken up right after surgery and asked the doctors "Is a girl?" and when the said yes. She replied "Good I don't have to return all that pink stuff" and laid back down and went to sleep.
I am sure there are other things that happened that I don't remember but that's the gist of it. Sorry it took so long for me to write it. Now on to better and other Daddy Diaries. |
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| Photographic Proof she's my daughter |
[Aug. 8th, 2007|07:26 pm] |
If you have a weak stomach STOP READING NOW! Hit that red X in the right hand corner. Trust me.
Ok if you are still here then you really want to be grossed out. I promise to finish the My Hero story by the end of week but this could not wait. Below is photographic proof that Danielle is my daughter (not that I doubted it ever before).
The following will sort of be embarrassing for me. It takes a lot to embarrass me but this might just do it. It is a little known fact but I PICK MY NOSE. I am not talking in the bathroom when no one is looking. I am talking all the time. I pick it in the car, work; well you name it I pick my boogers. Now I usually wash my hands after I do so at work and such but not so much at home. This really grosses Chelsea out but she has sort of gotten used to it.
And its not like there are no boogers. I think there are little umpa lumpas up there creating boogers over time. There is never a time I stick my finger up there and don't come back with gold.
Well tonight Chelsea was cooking dinner. What did we have you ask? We had deconstructed Sheppard's Pie with a side of risotto. It was quite good. We had just finished up the dinner and Chels was doing the dishes. I was holding Danni, right after a freshly cleaned poopie diaper, when she starts screaming.
Chels hurries up and finishes the dishes and cleaning the kitchen. She runs in to the living room and slaps Danni on the Bob bob (Boobie for those who don't speak baby). Well Danni isn't calming down which she usually does after getting the sweetness of the Bob bob. Chels looks down at Danni and the best way to describe it was a large green slug coming out of daughter's nose.
I get nasal aspirator. This thing looks like a turkey baser but much smaller. It is standard part of the first aid kit for babies. So I give it to Chelsea and she squeezes it in her nose and Danni is very much the happy baby. I give Chels the spit cloth and she squirts out the booger. I tried to get a good picture of it but apparently the camera was grossed out as well and wouldn't take a clear one. Let me tell you that is photographic proof that she is my daughter because the green creature would give the treasure out of my nose a run for its money.
Again sorry they aren't that clear but I have photoshop at work so I'll try to fix it there.
Again I can't get photos on here, so check out myspace blog to see it |
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| DADDY DIARY Episode 1: My Hero part 1 |
[Aug. 8th, 2007|07:26 pm] |
My Hero.
Editors Note: Any misspellings of medical terms are because even though I spent 7 ½ years in college, I AM NOT A DOCTOR and I am too lazy to look up the correct spellings.
So as I stated before the reason I havent written a Daddy Diary or anything in a month is because I would rather play with Danielle or spend time with Chelsea. But I took good notes in case I did take a free moment and write one I wouldnt forget the truly funny moments. The story I am about to tell is filled with so much drama, comedy, and love that Shakespeare himself would be jealous.
Let me tell you about my hero, Chelsea Jones. After roughly 27 hours on labor, this amazing woman gave birth to the most amazing life. For months before, I said if I could take the weight gain or pain I would. After seeing all of it I take it all back, I wouldnt go thru child birth ever. Thank good God almighty I am a man.
Before I start there is one thing that was prevalent thru out this whole pregnancy and the birth. That thing is Murphys Law. Which clearly states, "Anything that can go wrong, will" or "If there's more than one way to do a job, and one of those ways will result in disaster, then somebody will do it that way."
It all started a couple days before the induction was supposed to take place. Chelsea decided to call up to the hospital and confirm where and when we were supposed to be there. The nurse told her that she had no Jones or Rogers appointment. After a couple of phone calls and paper shuffling, they found us. We should have just rescheduled then but Chelsea was 10 months pregnant. She was a couple of weeks late. With us they were overbooked with 4 or 5 inductions. This would be a recipe for disaster later (forshadow).
On Thursday night, my parents brought us our last meal. We all had Hueys burgers but Chelsea and I were a little too nervous to eat. While eating I realized we were going to be a little late. I called the hospital and they said no big deal, get here when we could. They also said go thru the emergency room, which we had a terrible experience at during MLK day. This was new information because earlier they told us to just come to the 6th floor. We had toured the facility and pre-registered. Let me tell pre-registered didnt mean crap. We still had to do it all over again. I was glad we called. We get all checked in and walk up to the 6th floor which is where Labor and Delivery is located.
If you ever can check out the Labor and Delivery of St Francis on Park. After you have toured run away and never come back, go have your baby somewhere else. That is a little rough, we had good care with the exception of one doctor which we will get to a little later.
The room is super pimp. It was like a hotel suite. It had cable, a DVD player, plenty of room for stuff, a recliner rocker, everything you need. We had brought a couple of Seasons on DVD and I brought two books. You might think that is a lot for just a delivery but the gods had hinted it wasnt going to be a short stay and luckily we listened.
After we arrived to the 6th floor, Chelsea got all hooked up to the machines. Her IV was put in and we were on a roll, or at least she was. The nurses came in and introduced themselves and were really nice. The explained that Chelsea was hooked up to a blood pressure machine that would take her BP every 30 minutes. That she had one monitor which monitored contractions and another that monitored the babys heartbeat and mommys too. Every time during the pregnancy that I got to hear the babys heartbeat, I got a little choked up and it made me so happy. In fact I fell asleep to the sound of that beautiful sympathy of heartbeats of the two women I love that night.
Next the nurse came in a told us that she was going to give Chelsea CERVADIL. The nurse casually explained that it was just like sperm. She pointed to me and said His was free, this one will cost your insurance about $245. To think I have wasted all those years just taking care of my business in towels and such. I could have been rich.
They also explained that it will soften the cervix and make the uterus start going into gentle spasms. This will make the contractions stronger but not uncomfortable. In some rare cases (if that foreshadowing I don;t what is) it will make the uterus go into harsh spasms, if this was to happen they will come take it out and give the uterus a break and start the POTASIN.
To be continued next week. Whats to come. The rest of Thursday and All of Friday! |
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| Daddy Diary: My baby can walk- sort of |
[Aug. 8th, 2007|07:25 pm] |
Ok I know it has been a while since I wrote a DD, or any blog for that matter. I know that I still owe ya'll (if any of you are still interested) the second part of the birth of Danni (yeah I know it has been 6 months). But something happened just recently that I had to write about.
My parents bought Danni a walker/entertainer for Christmas (see pic below). We choose this particular walker because it goes around in circle of the entertainment center. This way we can put her in it and she can't take off. She has five feet to work with. Place it in the center of the room and she can go around and everything is out of reach.
I CAN NOT GET THE PIC TO LOAD SORRY. Check it out at the link or go to myspace blog and see it.
Around We Go
Danni has taken particular interest in one part of the entertainer and it's a bird teething toy. She has learned to pull herself around to where it is. She will work herself around to it and sit there and gnaw on it 'til her little heart is content.
Well one night Uncle Dustin and Aunt Kelly came over to visit. We brought the walker into the living room to show them (they are about to have a baby and are interested in this kind of stuff. We don't do this with non-kid people.) Well I was sitting on the recliner drinking a beer. I was drinking a plastic Coors Light (found at any local Kroger).
Well Danni has become obsessed with things she can't have. She wants the beer bottle; plastic or not; coke bottles, remote control, and receipts. If I pull it away she wants it more. I say it because she is female and females always want what they can't have; Chelsea says its because Danni see us with said items all the time and wants to be a grownup. I like my theory better.
So Danni is in the walker, I am in the recliner drinking a beer, Aunt Kelly is taking pics, and Dustin and Chelsea are talking. Everyone is loving life and having a good time. Danni is gnawing on her toucan bird toy and she looks up at me and notices the plastic beer bottle going to my lips.
Immediately Danni forgets about her chew toy and only want the beer bottle. The walker has a swivel function and she has figured this part out. She swivels around and starts gooing and gaaing at me, slapping her hands together and down to get my attention. So I do what any other responsible parent would do - I held the bottle about 4ft in front of her.
And that is when it happened. She decided she wanted that bottle BAD. She just started scooting with both feet. Then it was one foot in front of the other. It was like watching Forrest Gump learning to run. She made it that 4 feet to the bottle. Staying with the fact I am a responsible parent I took the bottle away and gave her an empty diet coke bottle that had been washed
But from this day on when someone tells me drinking is bad or beer never did anything positive. I will refer them to this story...n And for those reading this now saying so she scooted a couple of feet for a plastic bottle, I would like to tell you the follow up. The next day, we had the walker back in Danni's room and she was in playing in it...n Chelsea and I were standing at the doorway looking on as proud parents tend to do (watch your parents and you will catch them watching you with pride when the think no one is looking)...n Danni swiveled around and started gooing and gaaaing at us. Next thing we knew she had "walked" around the half circle to us...n So we did what every parent does when they are proud of their kids we picked her up.
Now thanks for those who get pushing me to write a blog. Also if you are looking for another interesting blog check out April's Blogspot here...n She is way better blogger than me. Also the next blog I write will be a response of sorts to Chris's Idiot blog...n Read it and come back and read mine titles "Why I should have been arrested-reason #456"
But from this day on when someone tells me drinking is bad or beer never did anything positive. I will refer them to this story. And for those reading this now saying so she scooted a couple of feet for a plastic bottle, I would like to tell you the follow up. The next day, we had the walker back in Danni's room and she was in playing in it. Chelsea and I were standing at the doorway looking on as proud parents tend to do (watch your parents and you will catch them watching you with pride when the think no one is looking). Danni swiveled around and started gooing and gaaaing at us. Next thing we knew she had "walked" around the half circle to us. So we did what every parent does when they are proud of their kids we picked her up.
Now thanks for those who get pushing me to write a blog. Also if you are looking for another interesting blog check out April's Blogspot here. She is way better blogger than me. Also the next blog I write will be a response of sorts to Chris's Idiot blog. Read it and come back and read mine titled "Why I should have been arrested-reason #456" |
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| Season Finale of Daddy Diaries Prequel |
[Jul. 26th, 2006|01:20 pm] |
So this is the last Daddy Diary Prequel. We are now going to start up Season 1. I probably won’t be myspacing/blogging/etc for at least a week. I will revisit some prequel stuff like the super powers (cause I didn’t even come close to finishing that.)
So this is our last day alone. Chelsea and I are going to go on our last date tonight. From here on out, we always have to find a babysitter if we want to go out and eat, movies, concerts, and so forth and so on. I can no longer just do what I want; I now have to think about the baby. Chelsea is planning our date and I can’t wait!
I want to take this time to thank everyone who gave us a present, kept us in your prayers and thoughts, and asked about Chelsea/baby. I am not sure if we would have made this far without all of you. A day did not go by when someone didn’t ask about us and for that I thank all of you. I knew we had a huge network of family and friends but that last few months have solidified it.
So for the next roughly 18 or so years (depending on when the next kid/oops (JOKE) happening) here is a short list of thing I can’t do because she is relying on me
• Skydive
• Run with the Bulls
• Bungee Jump
Not that I had immediate plans to do this but it would increase my chance of maiming or death by an exponential amount. Who I am kidding, I could walk outside and get hit by a car.
Well all in all, I am ready as I am ever going to be. I can’t wait to hold my daughter in my arms. To see her first smile, first burp, first shit, first well everything. I’ll send out a mass text (if I have your phone #) and I’ll write a blog with all the details so see you next season. Be on the look out for Season 1 of the Daddy Diaries.
See ya next season. Don't forget to tell all your friends to subscribe. Also be working on your logos. |
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| Daddy Diaries: My Super Fiancée:Immune to Cold |
[Jul. 24th, 2006|12:54 pm] |
Welcome to another addition to the Daddy Diary. I have written several DD's about Chelsea's super powers. The list keeps getting bigger and longer because I get new material everyday.. But here is the next one. The next DD might be just a bunch of small super powers.
Immune to Cold
Chelsea has grown so that cold temperatures do not bug her. It is almost a weakness because she needs the AC now. I live in artic like climates. I walk around in long sleeve t-shirt or sweatshirt, socks, and sweatpants. This is when its 105 degrees outside. The sad part is that I have become used to it.
The other night I went to Sonic on 1 of our regular 3 trips there for ice. Each trip, we purchase between 3 to 8 cups of ice. This was an 8 Route 44 cups of ice. Chelsea wasnt feeling to well so I went by myself. I left the house without thinking of what I was wearing. I hop in the truck and head to Sonic, and I got HOT!!! I started sweating and overheating. The radio dj tells me its 103 degrees outside. Then I look down and I have on. I am wearing a sweatshirt, sweatpants, socks, a knit hat. No wonder I am hot. I also sleep in this gear so the only time I am not wearing winter clothes is when I am at work.
She eats frozen fruit by the pounds. I am talking an 8 pound bag of frozen fruit is gone in like 10 minutes. She devours the Route 44 cup of ice in mere minutes. The AC never goes above -35 degrees. When we lived in the one bedroom efficiency in midtown, the ac unit used to spit out ice. I live in an ice box. I dont need to put my Dr. Pepper or beer in a coozie or back in the fridge because it says super cold.
In fact I wrote this whole blog while in a long sleeve tshirt and sweatpants. |
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| Daddy Diaries: My Super Fiancée: Super Hearing |
[Jul. 24th, 2006|12:53 pm] |
Last time we spoke of Chelsea’s Super Smell, we now move onto…
Super Hearing
Ask anyone of Chelsea’s family members and they will let you know she is a little oversensitive but the pregnancy has developed her sense to super-sensitive. This power is sort of like the super smell. She can hear things that no regular human can hear and can distinguish between lots of different noises and pin point what each one is. We will be watching TV and hear our next door neighbor’s TV. God bless Lee for being so understanding and always turning down his TV. Our last neighbor wasn’t so nice.
Chelsea also now can hear a “dog whistle” like sound that is coming from my left nostril. It has gotten so loud that she can’t function and do anything else. When we are watching TV she sits on the couch as far away from as she can. We went to a movie the other night and she watched my nostril more than the movie.
So my solution is to take two wads of toilet paper and shove them up my nostrils. This makes it hard for any noise to come out my nose. If no toilet paper is available she will take matters into her own hands. Have you ever seen on TV where the doctor resets a broken nose. The doctor grabs the nose and yanks it in the opposite direction with force. This pretty much what happens every time she hears the whistle from nostril. Let me tell you its is not a pleasant experience. We are driving down the street and I am in mid sentence and with super speed (more on this later) a hand reaches across, grabs my nose, and gives a yank like it made of taffy.
Super Chelsea can hear a car drive by and tell you what song is playing on their stereo. She can tell you artist, song title, and year it was a hit. If no car is driving by our apartment, she will increase her listening area and tell me the make, model, year, and color that is playing the loud ass song at the entrance to our complex |
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| Daddy Diaries Prequel- My Super Fiancee Vol 1 |
[Jul. 24th, 2006|12:50 pm] |
In the beginning we had the morning sickness olympics at the house but at night. I called it the Night Olympics. Chelsea used to get sick at night so we held the events then. That includes the 10 meter sprint to the toilet. The Projectile vomit. The Most vomit. The Person who can cry the fastest. Chelsea is a gold medalist in all these events. She stills gets a little sick every once in a while but I think she is just showing off now, like Jordan playing one on one with people at basketball camps.
But these “skills” have morphed or mutated if you will into super powers. Chelsea has a ton of them. It’s like she’s one of the xmen or something. But before we get to all of them let me tell you about the lack of mine.
Some people know this and other don't. I was born without the sense of smell. I mean I can smell nothing. I have been sitting in my house reading a book and the whole stove was on fire. I didn't even know till the fire alarm went off. Therefore by default, I have no sense of taste. Well I sort of do but it very dulled (is that a word). I can taste certain things and pretty much hate them.
-pickles
-onions
-mustard
-spicy
-really sweet thing
I therefore pretty much eat anything. The whole smell/taste thing doesn't bug me except I have never smelt Chelsea when she wears her perfume. Hoo-Ha! I am great on long road trips because you can fart and I really don't care because I can't smell. If you cook for me I'll eat it. I'm also blind as a bat and can not see past the tip of my nose without contact or glasses. . My dream is to wake up and be able to see without any assistance.
Enough about me, you all came to the Daddy Diaries for Chelsea’s super powers. I was going to write a really long blog but decided to break it up and make it several different parts. Here is the first one.
Super Smell
Chelsea can smell things from miles away. She knows things by just smelling me. I came in the other night and Chelsea took one whiff of me and said “Woo! How much did you drink?” I responded like I usually do, “A couple.” This is when her super smell kicks in. Super Chelsea says “A couple my ass. *Sniff!* You had 4 pitchers (one a piece) while hanging out with Tish, who had 3 cigarettes; Dave, who worked a double at Raffertys; Tigers, who mowed 2 no wait 3 lawns; and Sam the guy who just drank bourbon. You then went to Brookhaven had a lemon drop and a shot of Jager. Lana met ya’ll there. You then decided to come home but on the way stopped at McDonald’s and had the two Big Mac Meal deal: super sized.”
On top of the ability of to distinguish between every scent on my body and breath, she can smell things that don’t exist. I shouldn’t say that don’t exist but more not detectable by meer mortals. I have to brush my teeth almost every hour because Super Chelsea smells stuff on my breath. She can smell things burning when nothing is burning. And because of the super smell, she can not go near her old work of Swanky’s Taco Shop because the smell of Mexican makes her compete in the Night Olympics.
A perfect example of this the other night was when I was cooking dinner for myself. I use the verb cook very loosely here. I heated a $1 TV dinner. I bought it on the sly with a bunch of other ones because it was Mexican food. I took it out of the fridge and removed it from the box. Her super smell kicked in and was like “Phew Wee, that stinks!” I ignored her and continued to cook my enchiladas. Later on it made her sick. |
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| Not Quite a Daddy Diary |
[Jul. 24th, 2006|12:47 pm] |
The Daddy Diary (look spelled it right this week) will be out hopefully tomorrow. But I do have a story. I was coming back from running an errand and I was on Ridgeway at Poplar when I saw something that just struck me as WRONG!
There on the corner was a man begging. Now I have no problem with pan handling but this one had that special touch. The man had his son holding the sign. This struck me at my core as wrong. Now if times get hard for me (lose my job, car, etc), I might turn to begging. The situation would have to be extreme but I am not proud to beg. But under no circumstances would my daughter be out there with me. In fact, she would never know I was doing it. Ignorance is bliss and my daughter will never know if we are extremely rich or poor. She will not be on the side of the road begging with me.
Since I do not want to end on a depressing note, I will share with you two things I saw while in Millington this weekend. On the Corner of 51 and Navy in Millington, there is a shop called Amy’s Pet Saloon. Right next door is Millington’s Taxidermy. Anyone see the irony of that one.
Secondly, we were in gas station buying some ice for Lil Momma and going to the bath room. While waiting in line I looked to my left and there was the storage closet/room for the gas station. Not unusual, right? Well the door was wide open. Still not usual! Right above the door was a sign that read. “UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES IS THIS DOOR TO STAY OPEN!!!”
Yes it had three !!! and it wasn’t hand made it was professionally done. I know that it could have been an accident or someone in there but 2 things come to mind. 1) There was only one girl on duty and she was working the register and 2) If the sign has been professionally made then this is obviously a problem and has been discussed at employee meetings.
Do they have employee meeting at gas stations? DADDY DIARY, hopefully, TOMORROW |
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| Daddy Diary Prequel #1 |
[Jul. 24th, 2006|12:45 pm] |
Ok so welcome to the Daddy Diaries. This will be an inside look at becoming a parent from Day 1. Also for others it might be the best kind of birth control. Hopefully, well share a few laughs along the way. Let me introduce you to the key players. Chelsea is Big Momma (BM). I am Big Daddy (BD). And our unborn and yet to be named child will be referred to as Karma (K). She is Karma here because a) we havent thought of a name b) Big Momma wont let me name her that and c) She is going to be my little bundle of Karma for years to come.
This is actually the prequel to the Daddy Diaries. It all began when I was between the ages 15 and 16. That wonderful summer between Freshman and Sophomore year. I was not the fine specimen of man you see before you today. Imagine if you will, I was 53 (I couldnt even ride the rides at Libertyland), about 125lbs, pale, acne ridden (Sean used to call me Pepperoni face), and very very shy. Now look at the beast we call Buck this day and age, I am 65, 285lbs, pretty much a clear face, farmer tan that is so sexy it dont stop, and LOUD!
The path to this was a very painful one to say the least. There was tears, sobbing, long nights, warm towels, and lots of pain medication. Right after I turned 16, I hit a growth spurt. When I saw growth spurt, I am not talking a couple inches over a year. I am talking 9 inches in 3 months. That averages about 3 inches a month. It was more like 1 inch in May, 5 inches in July, 3 in August and back to school. I grew so quickly my bones and muscles could not keep up with each other. No one noticed it because the people I hung out with everyday saw me everyday that summer. The doctors noticed because I came in with horrible leg pains. They sent me home with painkillers and the advice to put warm towels wrapped around my legs and knees. This was before everyone had microwaves so my mom would take wet towels and put them in the oven. Its a wonder we didnt burn the apartment down.
Anyways because of all of that I have always had leg problems. My knees go out for no reason except that I used them that day (walking, stretching, etc). If it rains my legs ache sometimes. My feet grew a little to fast as well but that is a story for a different Daddy Dairies.
Well fast forward to present day. Big Momma and I are out to some exciting excursion (probably to go grocery shopping, a trip to Babies R Us, or get some ice cream) and my legs are hurting bad. It had rained early and my legs just ached. It was bugging me and I was bitching and moaning like a little girl. So I say Man, "My legs hurt!"
Big Momma turns to me (because she was looking out the window at the time and says in the most calm, collective, and serious voice that I have every heard, "Im sorry did you say your clit hurts? Because join the club!"
WELCOME TO THE DADDY DIARIES. Tell your friends and tell a stranger! (Thats for Lana, Tish, Dana, and Brad) |
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| Daddy Diaries:First Post |
[Jul. 24th, 2006|12:41 pm] |
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Welcome to the Daddy Diaries. This will be an inside look at becoming a parent from Day 1. It will be a look into marraige, being a father, and my life to come. Also for others it might be the best kind of birth control. Hopefully, well share a few laughs along the way. |
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